last night i went to hear julie barnhill speak to our MOPS group.  MOPS stands for 'mothers of preschoolers' and is a great organization geared towards encouraging mothers of young children.  julie barnhill is the founder of mops and also an accomplished writer and speaker.  it was so encouraging to listen to her talk some of her struggles as a young mother and how she learned to give more of herself, die to herself and pour into her kids the stuff that matters for eternity.
i think of the words that i pour into my kids, or more often don't pour into them.  i think of all the things i want to say, and for some reason i don't... instead letting the silence grow between us into long stretches of painful nothingness.  i want to encourage them.  sometimes i feel.... silly, or dorky, or that they already know those things and telling them doesn't matter.  yet,  i know intrinsically that it does matter.  that they need to hear me speak words of affirmation over them. they need my hugs and back scratches. they need me to sit with them.  so i feel encouraged to do those things for my babies.  because the truth is... they're not really babies anymore.....